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The Absurd World of Sage Hana Productions

sagehana.substack.com

The Absurd World of Sage Hana Productions

Compilation of Humor, err..."Humor" and Fiction Before the Black Suburbans come for me

Sage Hana
Oct 4, 2022
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The Absurd World of Sage Hana Productions

sagehana.substack.com

Starting to realize that this Substack may either blow up in a good way, or blow up in a “removed” way.

As such, thousands of subs arrived after some of the various strains of content were posted that would fall into the SH “alternative” category. Here are some of them:

Boeing-24: A Cryptic Short Story

Sage’s Newsletter
Boeing-24: A Cryptic Short Story
Senator Blank was outraged. 34-planes had come down in the last year. Several brave engineer whistleblowers had come forwards. The problem centered on the Fisher-Price rivets and welds…
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9 months ago · 79 likes · 94 comments · Sage Hana

Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel, 11-episodes

Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
The problems began in Detroit. Yep. Motor City. The former bombed out and disheveled Michigan Province of the old United States. Things were going so well after the hardships. Maybe the survivors just got complacent. Maybe they were just weary or giddy or high on peacetime…
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a year ago · 19 likes · 48 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
::beep:: Your Highness, Mr. Kirsch is here… Send him in. Queen Tulsi, still in her yoga pants, stretched out and propped her left leg up onto the large mahogany table. Her hair had gone completely snow white from age and stress and war, yet here she was, beautiful as ever. Brown eyes lively and darting. Fit as an athl…
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a year ago · 20 likes · 14 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29, The Serial Novel
Queen Tulsi approached the glass encasement encompassing the pacing War Criminal. The Monarch’s eyes were slightly narrowed, almost imperceptibly. It was actually a fairly large container, about the size of a one bedroom NYC apartment, well furnished. A giant video screen filled half of one wall, a comfortable twin sized bed tucked in the adjacent corner…
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a year ago · 15 likes · 42 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
“Did Kirsch make it?” Yeah, Joe. Unscathed. “How the fuck…” The gas tank detonated to the left side, Kirsch was on the right. Dude has a sprained ankle. That’s it. Tulsi had no chance. She didn’t know what hit her. It was quick. Joe…this was an assassination…
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a year ago · 18 likes · 28 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
The newly inaugurated Global American States President Joe Rogan settled into the leather chair. His eyes were ringed with large bags. He hadn’t slept in two days. Rogan and his Chief of State Jordan Peterson were perched in the same Hawaiian Volcano compound offices in which the former Queen Tulsi Gabbard had recently invited Steve Kirsch in for a post …
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a year ago · 22 likes · 15 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
President Joe Rogan reclined his seat on Air Force One and exhaled deeply. He grinned. What a damn ride. The new Commander in Chief of the Global American States was starting to get into this whole Leader of the Free World thing. After freeing War Criminal Hillary Clinton and signing The Hawaiian Accords Armistisce, the Chief had finally gotten in a good …
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a year ago · 20 likes · 22 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
Sage “Galoshes” Hana was having an existential crisis. The Vaccine War Dissident was penning a letter to then President Hillary Clinton regarding the caliber of food that she and her fellow political prisoners at Guantanamo Bay Vaccine Concentration Camp were being fed…
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a year ago · 21 likes · 54 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
Global American States Secretary of State Jordan Peterson looked over his impending resignation letter. Typo in Section 23. Shit. ::beep:: “Mr. Peterson, I have a woman in a wheelchair wearing galoshes in the lobby. Says she has an appointment.” Send her…uhh…roll her in…
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a year ago · 18 likes · 8 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
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10 months ago · 25 likes · 30 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
Watch now (2 min) | Back in Gitmo where the Guards were nice now and give her the good Jack Link’s brand of jerky, and where she had now made friends with the pack of Henchyeti Shih-Tzus who wrecked her legs to begin with at the recreation area squat rack…Galoshes awaited the expected text from Dissident Liaison Margaret Anna Alice…
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10 months ago · 23 likes · 13 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Gas Tank-29: The Serial Novel
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9 months ago · 9 likes · 48 comments · Sage Hana

Orange Cow Disease-23: The (Mini) Serial Novel

Sage’s Newsletter
Orange Cow Disease-23: The (Mini) Serial Novel
Mr. Intensity Luke was furious. He stared at his phone. BTC had tanked to zero. Zero! Goddammit! The phone went off. “Two more down at Disney World…
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9 months ago · 41 likes · 69 comments · Sage Hana
Sage’s Newsletter
Orange Cow Disease-23: The (Mini) Serial Novel
Dr. John Campbell began his daily YouTube show with his signature syrupy greeting. “Well you are most welcome to today’s talk about Orange Cow Disease…” Campbell had initially been warned by his YouTube minders about using the term “Orange Cow Disease” or for that matter addressing the folded prion condition that was sweeping the globe at all…
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9 months ago · 29 likes · 39 comments · Sage Hana

Cyanide Bursty Boulders

Sage’s Newsletter
FDA Unanimously Approves Experimental COVID-19 Anti-Virals: "Cyanide Bursty Boulders"
For Immediate Release: Dateline June 30, 2022, Washington DC. The United States Food and Drug Administration today unanimously approved the Pfizer Cyanide Bursty Boulders, marketed under brand name “Bursty Boulders Grapey Extreme”, as a safe and effective prophylactic and treatment of COVID-19…
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9 months ago · 58 likes · 129 comments · Sage Hana

If you would like to make a small donation to keep the Absurd World of Sage Hana Productions afloat, links are below!

Thanks, and I hope that you enjoy. 🦖

https://ko-fi.com/sagehanaproductions64182

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/sagehanaJ

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The Absurd World of Sage Hana Productions

sagehana.substack.com
32 Comments
nymusicdaily
Oct 4, 2022Liked by Sage Hana

was trying to get up the nerve to ask you for this. all archived, right? and not in the cloud? triple redundancy? :)

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Duchess
Oct 4, 2022Liked by Sage Hana

Wow, I need to savor these.....

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